Title: The Voldie Went Down to Hogwarts (the Devil Went Down to Georgia)
Rating: G, but has one single curse word.
Fandom/Characters: Harry Potter; Voldemort and Harry during the final battle. Also mentions Hagrid and hippogriffs.
The Voldie went down to Hogwarts. He was looking for a boy to kill. He was in a bind 'cause he wanted power, and he was willing to make a deal, when he came across this young man going through the forest alone and scared. And the Voldie jumped up on a hickory stump and said,
"Boy, let me tell you what. I guess you didn't know it but I want that wand too. And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you. Now, you cast pretty good spells, boy , but give the Dark Lord his due. I'll bet a wand of power against your soul, 'cause I think I'm better than you."
The boy said, "My name's Harry, and it might be a sin. But I'll take your bet, you're gonna regret, 'cause I'm the Boy Who Lived."
Harry, rosin up your wand and cast your magic hard, 'cause hell's broke loose at Hogwarts and the Dark Lord deals the cards. And if you win you get this shiny wand that’ll make gold. But if you lose, the Dark Lord gets your soul.
The Dark Lord took out his wand and he said, "I'll start this show." And fire flew from his fingertips as he got ready to go. And he rosined up his wand and it made an evil hiss. Then a band of demons joined in and it sounded something' like this.
When the Voldie finished, Harry said, "Well, you're pretty good, old son, but sit down in that chair right there and let me show you how it's done.
Fire on the mountain. Run, boys, run. The Voldie's in the House of the Rising Sun. Hippogriffs in the pumpkin patch pickin at ferrets. Hagrid, does your dog bite? No, child, no."
The Dark Lord bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat. And he laid that magic wand on the ground at Harry's feet. Harry said, "Voldemort, just come on back if you ever want to try again. Cause I told you once, you son of a bitch, I'm the Boy Who Lived."